notes from my ninth grade self (part II): The Retreat

For a proper introduction to this series, please see part I. Here goes part II:

Silence. Solitude. Thought. That magical moment just before you fall asleep during which the pressures of the day have vanished and those of the next are yet to take hold. All are an escape, a temporary relief from the never-ending pressures of reality. For a long time I have been able to retreat to my mind whenever I have been perturbed, tired or simply needed a few minutes alone. It has always been there asa back way out of any problem. I used it to solve problems in my life, to invent simple stories to entertain myself and relieve my mind from the stresses of these problems. Sometimes I would contemplate matters and concepts such as the vastness of the universe and its origins, in a vain attempt to understand that which I knew I …more

notes from my ninth grade self: Laughter

My father recently visited me in Austin. He brought a few things from home in a goodie bag that says ‘happy birthday’ on it. Video games, a NYG scarf, and a little book of vignettes I wrote in the ninth grade.

It’s a pretty funny, and scary, thing to read things you wrote in the past. When you write (or do anything else) every day, you get this fantastic sense that you’re getting better at it. So to look at something you produced in the past is to look at something worse than you could produce now. I think that’s the reasoning behind my nervousness in opening old work.

But to sit as a 23 year old you and read something written by the thirteen year old you, that’s something else entirely. Something I do not have a word for. Sure, I remember my freshman year of high school. I remember …more